Friday, July 29, 2022
Good Morning world! This is my first blog post in years. I do journal but, it's more private between me and God. At the behest of a wonderfully inspirational friend I decided to start blogging again, occasionally. Today is the Feast of the Holy Innocents... Two of my children Tessa and Christopher turn 16 today. It is 18 degrees outside... what a perfect day to stay inside and blog. However, I must run off and take my mom shopping. Our household has changed a bit in the last five years. My parents sold their house and moved in with us. The younger seven kids are growing up. Two young men in college one in Memphis and one at Catholic University of America in D.C. I am very proud of both of them. We have five grandkids so far. Here is a pic of My husband, I, and our six younger kids dropping off Alex at Catholic University of America, he's a freshman this fall. This was an unpublished post from five years ago... just decided to go ahead press publish.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Sarah's Blessings
Here is a talk I gave recently at our local diocesan chapter of the National Council for Catholic Women or DCCW.
Has anyone ever heard of Sarah's Blessings or Sarah’s part of the Old Covenant? Because I hadn't and no one I've spoken with has either. But, I will tell you why this whole idea not only intrigued me, but wrapped around my heart and that it is an exciting privilege to share this with you all
And there might be some rumors going around so let’s just get it over with right off the bat. I do as Joyce told you have ten children and as shocking as that is in this day and age.. it does get worse. In fact, my close friends, when we meet someone new will blurt out this fact about my family. I will give them the evil eye and tell them it really isn’t necessary to mention this and they say “Oh, but it is.” only because they enjoy the shock value. I have three sets of twins. You see if you say I have twins then people are charmed by the cuteness of twins, with two sets they are impressed and consider this to be very cool, but at three sets they usually do this (take a step back and cross arms) because it could contagious you know. . And if they're Catholic you can see it in their eyes... so, is that a blessing or a penance?
Then a series of questions begins, I should make up a placard and just flash it to save time, the answers are pretty much the same every time, one set of identical girls, two boy/girl sets, yes there are others…yes, I actually carried them all in my body, etc, etc. No, they were not fertility drugs, seriously, I had 7 kids when the third set were conceived. But, I will tell you that I learned to be very, very careful how I answered questions.
It is often said that your greatest area of suffering is your greatest area of ministry and there are nine years between my older three and younger seven. Five years of back to college, graduate school for my husband and not open at all and then I did have about four years of miscarriages. I had a great desire to have another child and I was literally Hannah on the steps of the temple begging God for another baby. Apparently, some of those prayers got backlogged and were heard all at once. Be careful how hard you pray. But, still I haven’t suffered infertility like many women have. Every time I went into public for about five years I would be questioned about fertility drugs and who was my fertility specialist. It was overwhelming. I have a special heart for infertile women now. They automatically assumed that with back to back sets, it had to be fertility drugs. I met and ended up ministering to literally thousands of infertile women. Who knew that would be one result of these blessings. You know trusting God with a large family is exactly the same as trusting God when you have trouble conceiving it is trusting that the Lord loves you and intends on leading you in His wisdom. I just keep thinking if there are that many women struggling with fertility issues in this rather tiny fish bowl of Memphis, TN what is the real impact of this worldwide?
Okay, so today I want to talk about Sarah. Abraham’s Sarah, from the book of Genesis in the Old Testament. She was certainly no stranger to infertility. And for her it must have been a very bitter reality since God Himself had made this first covenant with mankind. Abraham is promised that he will be the father of many nations that his descendents would rival the stars in number. So here’s Sarah completely barren… and in those days they didn't have knowledge of physiology so don't ya know it would always have been the woman’s fault for no children. Not only is Abraham the richest guy in the region now and needs an heir but, she is living her life up to age 90 to 95 bearing the responsibility of the failure of God’s promises to Abraham… no pressure here, can you imagine the shame?
Earlier this year I was studying the story of Rebekah and Isaac for a school project with my children. And I dearly love the story of Isaac and Rebekah because don’t you know it… they had twins. Isaac being Abraham and Sarah’s one and only child. One morning, I sat in the quiet of the dawn before my seven younger children woke up and re-read the story asking the Lord if there was any detail he wanted to teach me that I had missed. Abraham was getting older and Sarah had died about three years before. Isaac being about 40 was known to be a very pious guy.
Abraham wanted to make sure he married someone that was not from the pagan tribes near where they lived so he sent a servant to his kinsman to find a wife for him. I won’t tell you all these details for brevity, but the servant and Abraham prayed for God to be real obvious about His choice. They meet and Rebekah leaves willingly believing that she is perfectly safe and all will be well considering that she is following the will of God. She agrees despite her mother’s misgivings it is, for her to go so quickly, an act of faith a slight insight for the reader of her character, she trusts God.
So they arrive and the scriptures say she sees him out in the field alone praying. She recognizes his piety. So at this point you have this faithful young girl selected to marry pretty much the richest guy in the whole region and she arrives and is inspired by this prayerful man and inquires who he is, she is told that he is Isaac her intended husband… she jumps off the camel and can you not just imagine she is thinking now, rich, godly, now if he just a little bit cute… this could be very, very good. They meet and Isaac is what forty-ish and the beautiful teenager comes bounding up, Hi, I’m going to be your wife! The story reads that Isaac’s response is to take her immediately into his mother’s tent. Okay, stop there. What? I thought she’d been dead for three years why is her tent still up? Was it just reverence for her life? That caught my attention.
Then it says that Sarah’s blessing returned the moment Rebekah entered the tent signaling to Isaac that Rebekah was indeed following in his mother’s footsteps as a woman who sought after holiness. This makes sense from what we know about Isaac, he needed to know that his intended wife loved the Lord as well. But, wait a minute, Rebekah is a teenager how did he know that the blessing… the blessing to bear children in extreme old age is now extended to Rebekah. Huh? So now I am wondering and seeking the Lord’s help to understand. In the commentary of the bible I was reading it says. Sarah’s blessings returned. Blessings plural? So I gather all the bibles I have in my home… I won’t say how many! It’s embarrassing. LOL! And I call my mother who has a fabulous spirituality library and my brother David who get sucked into this discovery and we all begin to do research. Each bible’s commentary has a slightly different reference to Sarah’s blessings, one says the three miracles of Sarah, aha!
After a few weeks and picking a few priests brains and libraries I find it fleshed out in Jewish tradition. Which really isn’t all that surprising since all the Old Testament is Jewish tradition and most certainly the Torah or pentateuch which is the first five books. List them.. Sister Rosalind Moss, who is a Jewish convert, and has now formed a new community called Daughters of Mary, Mother of Our Hope a fully habited very traditional community. She told me, that the Torah, or the Pentateuch. as we call it is pretty much word for word in our bibles. Now, it is important you realize you aren’t going to go back and find this in Genesis 24, you might find it referenced in your commentary.
After spending a couple months researching this and writing commentary and citing other’s commentary I was stopped in my tracks one day. My two almost 3yo daughter is very articulate, my mother says precocious, …I say articulate. Anyway, I pull her out of the tub and rub her hair dry then I put in a little dollop of leave-in conditioner and begin kind of combing it through with my fingers. She says “Mama, no soap in my hair.” I explain that it isn’t soap it’s conditioner and she says “What’s that gonna do for me?” Which, of course, caught me off guard because she is only two. While I was doing research and prayerfully learning about Sarah’s Blessings I kept thinking “What’s this gonna do for me or anyone else?” And it’s a valid question because, well, we are Catholic afterall and the massive amounts of material to guide and inspire us border on the infinite. Okay, maybe that’s dramatic, but more than any one man can even catalogue much less utilize for his own journey. . So, with all that we have why should I waste my time with this, Sarah's Blessings thing?
I was thinking about the fact that my husband and I talk on the phone probably about 6 or 7 times a day trying to coordinate and manage stuff, daily life, kids schedules etc. And each time we end the phone call with I love you, see ya. And it is just a habit to say it, isn’t it? Unless one of use hastily hangs up and doesn’t say it and then there is this noticeable difference, a hesitation, an awkward second of time, a catch in your heart and spirit like Hey, you didn’t say it. It is very mutual, Steve would never say to me hey you didn’t say I love you, but he will hint and say something like “Were you in a hurry to hang up or something?” So even though we both know that we love each other and we’ve said it thousands of times, we still need to hear it. And we all need to hear it from our dearly loving Lord, all the time, over and over. This is a beautiful I love you, I’ve always loved you, from the first promise I made with mankind… and I identify with the duties I gave you, the call on your life, the call to nurture and so I will nurture you in the place and amidst the humble duties of daily life.
For a very long time, I focused on my real life as being “out there.” Not home life, not family, but career and work. Even the mundane details of work bugged me. Here I was kind of treating everyday life’s humble duties as if they were a fun hobby. And I see this in my adult children as well. One of the loudest messages of our culture is that the aim of life is leisure. Hurry up and get everything else done or accumulate enough wealth so you don’t have to waste your time on care taking… you can get to the real point of life, entertaining yourself. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t enjoy the amazingly, gorgeous playground God gave us, this beautiful blue ball in the black of space here, but it isn’t the central focus of life.
Humble duties are what real life is…We all have humble duties. The management of physical life, social duties and even our spiritual vocation is certainly comprised mostly of the mundane or routine exercises of care taking. It is a uniquely human condition to have to manage all this stuff. Both a soul and a physical life.. But, managing humble duties is exactly what God expected Sarah to spend her life doing, whether she was blessed with a child or not and in this case, she was not, for most of her life.
Abrams name was changed to Abraham. Sarai’s name to Sarah. Which changes the meaning from “wife of” to “princess.” I’d take that elevation, wouldn’t you? The covenant between God and Abraham involved him becoming the father of many nations and becoming circumcised and sacrificing animals in atonement for sin, it makes penances seem a little wimpy. Okay, I’ll go soak in my Jacuzzi tub and pray my rosary for a penance…
We all just accept the covenant with mankind and maybe even we’re a little glad that we don’t live in that time period and that we aren’t actually men having to make those sacrifices… this concept that God granted Sarah a part of this as a unique call and a grace or blessing to accomplish it, is well, for me it was a little reality shift. You know, last week at the Women’s Morning of Spirituality the theme of embracing our femininity was exactly what Sarah’s Blessings is about because the call on her life was unique to God’s design of her, of us, as women.
So what was her part? First, a light called a Shabbos lamp was miraculously lit. Described as lit from Shabbat to Shabbat or Sabbath to Sabbath, the Sabbath being their day or worship, actually for them it’s Saturday. Ours is Sunday because this is the day of the resurrection of Christ. I have read two differing and yet complimentary descriptions of what this symbolized in her call. One was industriousness. Isn’t this so very true in the call of a woman to nurture, often the need arises in the middle of the night when someone is ill. When busy doing domestic duties how many of us write a long list that can never be completed in one day and then we don’t stop at the end of the day… we stop when we are too exhausted to move anymore. .
The second is called The blessing of her dough. It is said in the commentaries and in the Jewish tradition that God’s promise to her was that whatever she gave to others who came to her in need she could have the assurance that she would always have enough for her family. She was encouraged to be hospitable to wayfarers in need. The Jewish word for this is Tzedek or Tzedekah in living it out. We call it charity. And what does it make you think of? Loaves and fishes. It is living in the confidence that being a Christian means just as Jesus asked us feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and imprisoned with the graces to accomplish this call. These first two blessings are God calling us to nurture through the corporal works of mercy.
And here is where the other meaning for the light becomes obvious… it is that she is called to teach about the Divine to all she encountered. Sound familiar? Spiritual works of mercy. Admonish the sinner, instruct the ignorant, counsel the doubtful, comfort the sorrowful, pray for the living and the dead. Now I have heard many times that I will miss all those handprints and the physical work of taking care of children, and a priest once told me that changing a stinky diaper is indeed an act of holiness and act of mercy… not for the one doing it obviously, but on the receiving end. I must say I am looking forward a time in which I have the opportunity to do more works of mercy outside my own home. For now, mostly right at home. Blessed Teresa of Calcutta said “Charity begins in the home.” Here is where we learn to be charitable to others.
These two are the truly the culmination of Christ’s call. At the last supper, just after washing the disciples feet, he says and this is from the Douay-Rheims St. John 13:34 “A new commandment I give unto you: That you love one another, as I have loved you,” And its not only love in action He’s calling us to, but His example here is one of humble, loving, care taking.
Here is God issuing this call in it’s original. Jesus defined it as a “new commandment” But, the call has always been there. He has always been the same loving God. This was a huge call for Sarah. You have to understand that at this point Abraham’s position in the region meant that there were a lot of nomadic peoples stopping by for charity, not to mention they were related to a ton of people who well, you know what relatives do they come, they eat, they leave. Occasionally, one may offer to help pay for food, but probably not if they perceive that they make less money than you do. So, for Sarah, that’s a lot to do! A lot of responsibility, maybe that’s why she didn’t have a child for decades… he called her to do other things. But, then He gave one more thing.
As long as Sarah lived, a cloud of glory, which was the Divine Presence, hovered over the entrance to the tent. After she died, that cloud disappeared. But when Rebekah came, the cloud returned. So let me get this straight. He gave her a lot of responsibility, but He also gave her Himself, His presence. God showed up to hang out with her during her unglorifying domestic duties? While she was fulfilling the call to serve others? So on one hand you have Abraham working with animal herds and sacrificing their blood and burning them. Can you smell the fur burning… eww! And what aromas does he give us? The smells of flowers and newborn babies. I laugh because my husband will buy a bouquet of flowers and the boys will come by and ask who bought them or why they are here and off they go. The girls climb up onto the stools and stick their faces in the middle to see how smell. So, Sarah, is a woman who gets to serve others and hang out with God all day… hmm, I’m jus sayin’ being a girl rocks!
There is another ideal presented by commentators about the cloud over the tent as modesty. One Jewish commentator asserts the idea that the cloud over her tent was to inspire modesty of those who might enter, to signify to others that He was hanging out there. I think about that idea of the cloud being modesty of behavior and interior environment. How do we behave differently in the sanctuary at mass than we do at home. We are aware of the presence of Christ in the tabernacle and it should affect how we behave, hopefully, with reverence. But, home is the original church. The temple in Jerusalem was not even built in King David’s day… not until his son Solomon. The original dwelling of God right there in Sarah’s tent in fact is the first reference of the Divine dwelling with mankind in a consistent way since the fall. Hence, our domestic churches and home altars giving reverence to the Divine makes sense.
We should be cognizant of the fact that our homes are the domestic church and have we made it inhabitable for the Divine presence? I asked a priest to bless our new home a couple years ago and he asked if he could say mass there. I almost fainted with shock of this offer of his time. Well, he did come and it was so, so wonderful, I will never think of my house in the same way! I mean Jesus has been in my den, body, blood, soul and divinity, how cool is that?! But, I will tell you it challenged me to look around and see what media is about that maybe shouldn’t be… What if the cloud representing the Shekinah glory showed up and hung out over your house. Would you look around embarrassed by God’s holy presence? I personally would hope that God is a Broncos fan, since my husband grew up in Denver. And in actuality, as the temple of the Holy Spirit, we are carrying God's holy presence around with us. St. Gianna said that if we receive the Holy Eucharist then we are living monstrances for that whole day. I try to imagine this kind of flashlight from my heart and hope that my mouth doesn't sling too much mud to keep the light from shining.
I happened to mention to a friend that, at the Brooks Art Museum, I saw a painting that deeply moved me. The title is “Light of the Incarnation” by Carl Gutherz It is of the Nativity as viewed by heaven. That dear friend surprised me with a gift having had it framed and sent by the Art Museum to my home…I have had it for I don’t know a decade, I guess, but everday I see it and it challenges me. So in this amazing painting, your perspective is one as if seeing through literally millions of angelic creatures whose loving attention is directed towards the blackness of the earth and this distinct light of Christ as he is born. So I think sometimes, if one could look from heaven into my home, what would they see? Would they see that light, would they see my doors open to wayfarers and people in my parish that need a meal or hug or an ear, would they see the presence of the living God invited and drawn to reside there. And now I wonder. Would they see Sarah’s Blessings lived out?
Having told the kids the story of Sarah’s Blessings… I had to smile when not too long ago we were in the car and my 6yo little girl looks at the overcast sky, the blanket of clouds and says, “Look mom, God is everywhere today.” Of course, I also had to laugh when a minute later her twin brother whose name is Vinny, but we affectionately call him “Vinzilla” and in- VIN-sa- boy.says, “Look mom grass has spreaded itself all over this planet.” And I look at the grass and you know what he is right, have you ever noticed? It’s everywhere.
At Thanksgiving I had a reminder of the grace of Sarah’s Blessings…We have a large home and are centrally located so on holidays relatives descend on us from several states. They usually begin showing up late Wednesday evening the day before Thanksgiving. It all starts with a late night with lots of fun snack foods and and late into the night conversations. Well, this year my brother gets the day off and calls my mom and my other brother who is within driving distance. Apparently, my daughter calls my mother to make sure they are coming and they all talk to eachother, but no one tells me. My son decides to show up with my nephew who lives here and he brings a girlfriend. Not knowing of the carvan about to show up at our house I make a quick spaghetti dinner for my husband and younger kids so I can quickly clean up and prepare for the deluge of family, later. And I am busy cooking feast items because it is the day before Thanksgiving. Well, guess what, everyone shows up early close to 5. Btw, we live 20 minutes from any store or fast food, so this it. By 5:30 there are 22 people in my house, I cooked for 9. They all smell the sauce cooking and being that they are used to me feeding them they just start helping themselves. God help me a prayer thrown heavenward as I dash around trying to rustle up something else to serve. My husband has to go to work that night and my little kids are hungry and I start to get majorly stressed. And right here I have to confess something. You see spaghetti in is most simple form is my husband’s absolute favorite food. I grow an organic vegetable and herb garden. Remember how hot last summer was? Well, very few tomatoes during the the heat, but I prayed and told God that if he blessed my tomato plants then I would make homemade spaghetti sauce with our own herbs as a gift to my husband. So, guess what 418 tomatoes off of six plants. In hindsight I realize I was asking him to bless Steve… I think He likes Steve. And you would think that would make a lot of sauce, but not really. Like a few gallons and honestly that’s not going to last a more than month or two in my house. I had used that sauce and honestly well you can’t buy this sauce so I didn’t want to share it.
So I go out to the garage and look in the refrigerator and the freezer thinking what can I cook quickly? There are several pans of manicotti that I made and froze for Saturday night. I don’t want to use them, but decide what choice do I have? So while go back into the house to grab a teenager to help me bring a couple pans of manicotti and I see that everyone is already eating. My daughter has served all the little kids, my parents, my brother’s family, my daughter’s family the others and I look in the pot and my mom says don’t worry there’s enough for Steve I set some pasta and salad aside for him, you and I are the only ones that haven’t eaten. And there is plenty of food left, I am thinking how in the world?… loaves and fishes? ahh, Sarah’s blessing of the dough… thank you Lord …yet again!
There is such an amazing consistency between the old covenant made with Abraham and the new covenant which is Our Lord Jesus Christ. God gives us such concrete things to lead us to spiritual realities.
4,000 y ago. SB – miraculous provisions of light and bread. The cloud representing the divine presence Sarah’s tent.
1,000 years later… in Jerusalem, in the temple, the lampstands, the shew bread, the divine presence dwelling in the Holy of Holies.
3,000 years later… In our sanctuary, God giving Himself to us through the Son we have the divine presence our Lord Jesus Christ, body, blood, soul and divinity hidden, in the humble, as St. Thomas Aquinas describes appearances of bread and wine and what is right there signifying the presence of Christ in the tabernacle? The always lit sanctuary light.
Remember the burning fur? We get incense… I love that smell! I have told my children that this is the smell of holiness…
I have a rosemary bush and if you have one then you know how aromatic it is. To me it smells like incense… like holiness and
Once in awhile I will see my kids walk by and brush their hands along the fronds of the rosemary bush and then bring their palms to their noses like this… Isn’t that just like us? The desire to be aware of God’s presence, to touch, to see it, to smell it. Isn’t it awesome that the Lord has gifted us through the church so many sense reminders of Himself?
I have to tell you that Sarah’s Blessings have done for me what so many of our traditions have, given me an insight into the intimate love of God for us. He is always reaching out to us and in this case right into the details of our daily lives, into the specific call to nurture and has provided grace for that duty, for that privilege of service. That we will work at home or in the office or the hospital or wherever. No matter what season of life you are in, my frenetic pace of hardly being able to taking a breath or maybe retirement which is a very special time perhaps set aside specifically by God in which to nurture with a lifetime of wisdom or after a lifetime of nurturing be on the receiving end for a change… but, always, in the company, of the presence of your Lord Who has made it abundantly clear that He wants to hang out with you interiorly, exteriorly in so many ways!
Has anyone ever heard of Sarah's Blessings or Sarah’s part of the Old Covenant? Because I hadn't and no one I've spoken with has either. But, I will tell you why this whole idea not only intrigued me, but wrapped around my heart and that it is an exciting privilege to share this with you all
And there might be some rumors going around so let’s just get it over with right off the bat. I do as Joyce told you have ten children and as shocking as that is in this day and age.. it does get worse. In fact, my close friends, when we meet someone new will blurt out this fact about my family. I will give them the evil eye and tell them it really isn’t necessary to mention this and they say “Oh, but it is.” only because they enjoy the shock value. I have three sets of twins. You see if you say I have twins then people are charmed by the cuteness of twins, with two sets they are impressed and consider this to be very cool, but at three sets they usually do this (take a step back and cross arms) because it could contagious you know. . And if they're Catholic you can see it in their eyes... so, is that a blessing or a penance?
Then a series of questions begins, I should make up a placard and just flash it to save time, the answers are pretty much the same every time, one set of identical girls, two boy/girl sets, yes there are others…yes, I actually carried them all in my body, etc, etc. No, they were not fertility drugs, seriously, I had 7 kids when the third set were conceived. But, I will tell you that I learned to be very, very careful how I answered questions.
It is often said that your greatest area of suffering is your greatest area of ministry and there are nine years between my older three and younger seven. Five years of back to college, graduate school for my husband and not open at all and then I did have about four years of miscarriages. I had a great desire to have another child and I was literally Hannah on the steps of the temple begging God for another baby. Apparently, some of those prayers got backlogged and were heard all at once. Be careful how hard you pray. But, still I haven’t suffered infertility like many women have. Every time I went into public for about five years I would be questioned about fertility drugs and who was my fertility specialist. It was overwhelming. I have a special heart for infertile women now. They automatically assumed that with back to back sets, it had to be fertility drugs. I met and ended up ministering to literally thousands of infertile women. Who knew that would be one result of these blessings. You know trusting God with a large family is exactly the same as trusting God when you have trouble conceiving it is trusting that the Lord loves you and intends on leading you in His wisdom. I just keep thinking if there are that many women struggling with fertility issues in this rather tiny fish bowl of Memphis, TN what is the real impact of this worldwide?
Okay, so today I want to talk about Sarah. Abraham’s Sarah, from the book of Genesis in the Old Testament. She was certainly no stranger to infertility. And for her it must have been a very bitter reality since God Himself had made this first covenant with mankind. Abraham is promised that he will be the father of many nations that his descendents would rival the stars in number. So here’s Sarah completely barren… and in those days they didn't have knowledge of physiology so don't ya know it would always have been the woman’s fault for no children. Not only is Abraham the richest guy in the region now and needs an heir but, she is living her life up to age 90 to 95 bearing the responsibility of the failure of God’s promises to Abraham… no pressure here, can you imagine the shame?
Earlier this year I was studying the story of Rebekah and Isaac for a school project with my children. And I dearly love the story of Isaac and Rebekah because don’t you know it… they had twins. Isaac being Abraham and Sarah’s one and only child. One morning, I sat in the quiet of the dawn before my seven younger children woke up and re-read the story asking the Lord if there was any detail he wanted to teach me that I had missed. Abraham was getting older and Sarah had died about three years before. Isaac being about 40 was known to be a very pious guy.
Abraham wanted to make sure he married someone that was not from the pagan tribes near where they lived so he sent a servant to his kinsman to find a wife for him. I won’t tell you all these details for brevity, but the servant and Abraham prayed for God to be real obvious about His choice. They meet and Rebekah leaves willingly believing that she is perfectly safe and all will be well considering that she is following the will of God. She agrees despite her mother’s misgivings it is, for her to go so quickly, an act of faith a slight insight for the reader of her character, she trusts God.
So they arrive and the scriptures say she sees him out in the field alone praying. She recognizes his piety. So at this point you have this faithful young girl selected to marry pretty much the richest guy in the whole region and she arrives and is inspired by this prayerful man and inquires who he is, she is told that he is Isaac her intended husband… she jumps off the camel and can you not just imagine she is thinking now, rich, godly, now if he just a little bit cute… this could be very, very good. They meet and Isaac is what forty-ish and the beautiful teenager comes bounding up, Hi, I’m going to be your wife! The story reads that Isaac’s response is to take her immediately into his mother’s tent. Okay, stop there. What? I thought she’d been dead for three years why is her tent still up? Was it just reverence for her life? That caught my attention.
Then it says that Sarah’s blessing returned the moment Rebekah entered the tent signaling to Isaac that Rebekah was indeed following in his mother’s footsteps as a woman who sought after holiness. This makes sense from what we know about Isaac, he needed to know that his intended wife loved the Lord as well. But, wait a minute, Rebekah is a teenager how did he know that the blessing… the blessing to bear children in extreme old age is now extended to Rebekah. Huh? So now I am wondering and seeking the Lord’s help to understand. In the commentary of the bible I was reading it says. Sarah’s blessings returned. Blessings plural? So I gather all the bibles I have in my home… I won’t say how many! It’s embarrassing. LOL! And I call my mother who has a fabulous spirituality library and my brother David who get sucked into this discovery and we all begin to do research. Each bible’s commentary has a slightly different reference to Sarah’s blessings, one says the three miracles of Sarah, aha!
After a few weeks and picking a few priests brains and libraries I find it fleshed out in Jewish tradition. Which really isn’t all that surprising since all the Old Testament is Jewish tradition and most certainly the Torah or pentateuch which is the first five books. List them.. Sister Rosalind Moss, who is a Jewish convert, and has now formed a new community called Daughters of Mary, Mother of Our Hope a fully habited very traditional community. She told me, that the Torah, or the Pentateuch. as we call it is pretty much word for word in our bibles. Now, it is important you realize you aren’t going to go back and find this in Genesis 24, you might find it referenced in your commentary.
After spending a couple months researching this and writing commentary and citing other’s commentary I was stopped in my tracks one day. My two almost 3yo daughter is very articulate, my mother says precocious, …I say articulate. Anyway, I pull her out of the tub and rub her hair dry then I put in a little dollop of leave-in conditioner and begin kind of combing it through with my fingers. She says “Mama, no soap in my hair.” I explain that it isn’t soap it’s conditioner and she says “What’s that gonna do for me?” Which, of course, caught me off guard because she is only two. While I was doing research and prayerfully learning about Sarah’s Blessings I kept thinking “What’s this gonna do for me or anyone else?” And it’s a valid question because, well, we are Catholic afterall and the massive amounts of material to guide and inspire us border on the infinite. Okay, maybe that’s dramatic, but more than any one man can even catalogue much less utilize for his own journey. . So, with all that we have why should I waste my time with this, Sarah's Blessings thing?
I was thinking about the fact that my husband and I talk on the phone probably about 6 or 7 times a day trying to coordinate and manage stuff, daily life, kids schedules etc. And each time we end the phone call with I love you, see ya. And it is just a habit to say it, isn’t it? Unless one of use hastily hangs up and doesn’t say it and then there is this noticeable difference, a hesitation, an awkward second of time, a catch in your heart and spirit like Hey, you didn’t say it. It is very mutual, Steve would never say to me hey you didn’t say I love you, but he will hint and say something like “Were you in a hurry to hang up or something?” So even though we both know that we love each other and we’ve said it thousands of times, we still need to hear it. And we all need to hear it from our dearly loving Lord, all the time, over and over. This is a beautiful I love you, I’ve always loved you, from the first promise I made with mankind… and I identify with the duties I gave you, the call on your life, the call to nurture and so I will nurture you in the place and amidst the humble duties of daily life.
For a very long time, I focused on my real life as being “out there.” Not home life, not family, but career and work. Even the mundane details of work bugged me. Here I was kind of treating everyday life’s humble duties as if they were a fun hobby. And I see this in my adult children as well. One of the loudest messages of our culture is that the aim of life is leisure. Hurry up and get everything else done or accumulate enough wealth so you don’t have to waste your time on care taking… you can get to the real point of life, entertaining yourself. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t enjoy the amazingly, gorgeous playground God gave us, this beautiful blue ball in the black of space here, but it isn’t the central focus of life.
Humble duties are what real life is…We all have humble duties. The management of physical life, social duties and even our spiritual vocation is certainly comprised mostly of the mundane or routine exercises of care taking. It is a uniquely human condition to have to manage all this stuff. Both a soul and a physical life.. But, managing humble duties is exactly what God expected Sarah to spend her life doing, whether she was blessed with a child or not and in this case, she was not, for most of her life.
Abrams name was changed to Abraham. Sarai’s name to Sarah. Which changes the meaning from “wife of” to “princess.” I’d take that elevation, wouldn’t you? The covenant between God and Abraham involved him becoming the father of many nations and becoming circumcised and sacrificing animals in atonement for sin, it makes penances seem a little wimpy. Okay, I’ll go soak in my Jacuzzi tub and pray my rosary for a penance…
We all just accept the covenant with mankind and maybe even we’re a little glad that we don’t live in that time period and that we aren’t actually men having to make those sacrifices… this concept that God granted Sarah a part of this as a unique call and a grace or blessing to accomplish it, is well, for me it was a little reality shift. You know, last week at the Women’s Morning of Spirituality the theme of embracing our femininity was exactly what Sarah’s Blessings is about because the call on her life was unique to God’s design of her, of us, as women.
So what was her part? First, a light called a Shabbos lamp was miraculously lit. Described as lit from Shabbat to Shabbat or Sabbath to Sabbath, the Sabbath being their day or worship, actually for them it’s Saturday. Ours is Sunday because this is the day of the resurrection of Christ. I have read two differing and yet complimentary descriptions of what this symbolized in her call. One was industriousness. Isn’t this so very true in the call of a woman to nurture, often the need arises in the middle of the night when someone is ill. When busy doing domestic duties how many of us write a long list that can never be completed in one day and then we don’t stop at the end of the day… we stop when we are too exhausted to move anymore. .
The second is called The blessing of her dough. It is said in the commentaries and in the Jewish tradition that God’s promise to her was that whatever she gave to others who came to her in need she could have the assurance that she would always have enough for her family. She was encouraged to be hospitable to wayfarers in need. The Jewish word for this is Tzedek or Tzedekah in living it out. We call it charity. And what does it make you think of? Loaves and fishes. It is living in the confidence that being a Christian means just as Jesus asked us feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and imprisoned with the graces to accomplish this call. These first two blessings are God calling us to nurture through the corporal works of mercy.
And here is where the other meaning for the light becomes obvious… it is that she is called to teach about the Divine to all she encountered. Sound familiar? Spiritual works of mercy. Admonish the sinner, instruct the ignorant, counsel the doubtful, comfort the sorrowful, pray for the living and the dead. Now I have heard many times that I will miss all those handprints and the physical work of taking care of children, and a priest once told me that changing a stinky diaper is indeed an act of holiness and act of mercy… not for the one doing it obviously, but on the receiving end. I must say I am looking forward a time in which I have the opportunity to do more works of mercy outside my own home. For now, mostly right at home. Blessed Teresa of Calcutta said “Charity begins in the home.” Here is where we learn to be charitable to others.
These two are the truly the culmination of Christ’s call. At the last supper, just after washing the disciples feet, he says and this is from the Douay-Rheims St. John 13:34 “A new commandment I give unto you: That you love one another, as I have loved you,” And its not only love in action He’s calling us to, but His example here is one of humble, loving, care taking.
Here is God issuing this call in it’s original. Jesus defined it as a “new commandment” But, the call has always been there. He has always been the same loving God. This was a huge call for Sarah. You have to understand that at this point Abraham’s position in the region meant that there were a lot of nomadic peoples stopping by for charity, not to mention they were related to a ton of people who well, you know what relatives do they come, they eat, they leave. Occasionally, one may offer to help pay for food, but probably not if they perceive that they make less money than you do. So, for Sarah, that’s a lot to do! A lot of responsibility, maybe that’s why she didn’t have a child for decades… he called her to do other things. But, then He gave one more thing.
As long as Sarah lived, a cloud of glory, which was the Divine Presence, hovered over the entrance to the tent. After she died, that cloud disappeared. But when Rebekah came, the cloud returned. So let me get this straight. He gave her a lot of responsibility, but He also gave her Himself, His presence. God showed up to hang out with her during her unglorifying domestic duties? While she was fulfilling the call to serve others? So on one hand you have Abraham working with animal herds and sacrificing their blood and burning them. Can you smell the fur burning… eww! And what aromas does he give us? The smells of flowers and newborn babies. I laugh because my husband will buy a bouquet of flowers and the boys will come by and ask who bought them or why they are here and off they go. The girls climb up onto the stools and stick their faces in the middle to see how smell. So, Sarah, is a woman who gets to serve others and hang out with God all day… hmm, I’m jus sayin’ being a girl rocks!
There is another ideal presented by commentators about the cloud over the tent as modesty. One Jewish commentator asserts the idea that the cloud over her tent was to inspire modesty of those who might enter, to signify to others that He was hanging out there. I think about that idea of the cloud being modesty of behavior and interior environment. How do we behave differently in the sanctuary at mass than we do at home. We are aware of the presence of Christ in the tabernacle and it should affect how we behave, hopefully, with reverence. But, home is the original church. The temple in Jerusalem was not even built in King David’s day… not until his son Solomon. The original dwelling of God right there in Sarah’s tent in fact is the first reference of the Divine dwelling with mankind in a consistent way since the fall. Hence, our domestic churches and home altars giving reverence to the Divine makes sense.
We should be cognizant of the fact that our homes are the domestic church and have we made it inhabitable for the Divine presence? I asked a priest to bless our new home a couple years ago and he asked if he could say mass there. I almost fainted with shock of this offer of his time. Well, he did come and it was so, so wonderful, I will never think of my house in the same way! I mean Jesus has been in my den, body, blood, soul and divinity, how cool is that?! But, I will tell you it challenged me to look around and see what media is about that maybe shouldn’t be… What if the cloud representing the Shekinah glory showed up and hung out over your house. Would you look around embarrassed by God’s holy presence? I personally would hope that God is a Broncos fan, since my husband grew up in Denver. And in actuality, as the temple of the Holy Spirit, we are carrying God's holy presence around with us. St. Gianna said that if we receive the Holy Eucharist then we are living monstrances for that whole day. I try to imagine this kind of flashlight from my heart and hope that my mouth doesn't sling too much mud to keep the light from shining.
I happened to mention to a friend that, at the Brooks Art Museum, I saw a painting that deeply moved me. The title is “Light of the Incarnation” by Carl Gutherz It is of the Nativity as viewed by heaven. That dear friend surprised me with a gift having had it framed and sent by the Art Museum to my home…I have had it for I don’t know a decade, I guess, but everday I see it and it challenges me. So in this amazing painting, your perspective is one as if seeing through literally millions of angelic creatures whose loving attention is directed towards the blackness of the earth and this distinct light of Christ as he is born. So I think sometimes, if one could look from heaven into my home, what would they see? Would they see that light, would they see my doors open to wayfarers and people in my parish that need a meal or hug or an ear, would they see the presence of the living God invited and drawn to reside there. And now I wonder. Would they see Sarah’s Blessings lived out?
Having told the kids the story of Sarah’s Blessings… I had to smile when not too long ago we were in the car and my 6yo little girl looks at the overcast sky, the blanket of clouds and says, “Look mom, God is everywhere today.” Of course, I also had to laugh when a minute later her twin brother whose name is Vinny, but we affectionately call him “Vinzilla” and in- VIN-sa- boy.says, “Look mom grass has spreaded itself all over this planet.” And I look at the grass and you know what he is right, have you ever noticed? It’s everywhere.
At Thanksgiving I had a reminder of the grace of Sarah’s Blessings…We have a large home and are centrally located so on holidays relatives descend on us from several states. They usually begin showing up late Wednesday evening the day before Thanksgiving. It all starts with a late night with lots of fun snack foods and and late into the night conversations. Well, this year my brother gets the day off and calls my mom and my other brother who is within driving distance. Apparently, my daughter calls my mother to make sure they are coming and they all talk to eachother, but no one tells me. My son decides to show up with my nephew who lives here and he brings a girlfriend. Not knowing of the carvan about to show up at our house I make a quick spaghetti dinner for my husband and younger kids so I can quickly clean up and prepare for the deluge of family, later. And I am busy cooking feast items because it is the day before Thanksgiving. Well, guess what, everyone shows up early close to 5. Btw, we live 20 minutes from any store or fast food, so this it. By 5:30 there are 22 people in my house, I cooked for 9. They all smell the sauce cooking and being that they are used to me feeding them they just start helping themselves. God help me a prayer thrown heavenward as I dash around trying to rustle up something else to serve. My husband has to go to work that night and my little kids are hungry and I start to get majorly stressed. And right here I have to confess something. You see spaghetti in is most simple form is my husband’s absolute favorite food. I grow an organic vegetable and herb garden. Remember how hot last summer was? Well, very few tomatoes during the the heat, but I prayed and told God that if he blessed my tomato plants then I would make homemade spaghetti sauce with our own herbs as a gift to my husband. So, guess what 418 tomatoes off of six plants. In hindsight I realize I was asking him to bless Steve… I think He likes Steve. And you would think that would make a lot of sauce, but not really. Like a few gallons and honestly that’s not going to last a more than month or two in my house. I had used that sauce and honestly well you can’t buy this sauce so I didn’t want to share it.
So I go out to the garage and look in the refrigerator and the freezer thinking what can I cook quickly? There are several pans of manicotti that I made and froze for Saturday night. I don’t want to use them, but decide what choice do I have? So while go back into the house to grab a teenager to help me bring a couple pans of manicotti and I see that everyone is already eating. My daughter has served all the little kids, my parents, my brother’s family, my daughter’s family the others and I look in the pot and my mom says don’t worry there’s enough for Steve I set some pasta and salad aside for him, you and I are the only ones that haven’t eaten. And there is plenty of food left, I am thinking how in the world?… loaves and fishes? ahh, Sarah’s blessing of the dough… thank you Lord …yet again!
There is such an amazing consistency between the old covenant made with Abraham and the new covenant which is Our Lord Jesus Christ. God gives us such concrete things to lead us to spiritual realities.
4,000 y ago. SB – miraculous provisions of light and bread. The cloud representing the divine presence Sarah’s tent.
1,000 years later… in Jerusalem, in the temple, the lampstands, the shew bread, the divine presence dwelling in the Holy of Holies.
3,000 years later… In our sanctuary, God giving Himself to us through the Son we have the divine presence our Lord Jesus Christ, body, blood, soul and divinity hidden, in the humble, as St. Thomas Aquinas describes appearances of bread and wine and what is right there signifying the presence of Christ in the tabernacle? The always lit sanctuary light.
Remember the burning fur? We get incense… I love that smell! I have told my children that this is the smell of holiness…
I have a rosemary bush and if you have one then you know how aromatic it is. To me it smells like incense… like holiness and
Once in awhile I will see my kids walk by and brush their hands along the fronds of the rosemary bush and then bring their palms to their noses like this… Isn’t that just like us? The desire to be aware of God’s presence, to touch, to see it, to smell it. Isn’t it awesome that the Lord has gifted us through the church so many sense reminders of Himself?
I have to tell you that Sarah’s Blessings have done for me what so many of our traditions have, given me an insight into the intimate love of God for us. He is always reaching out to us and in this case right into the details of our daily lives, into the specific call to nurture and has provided grace for that duty, for that privilege of service. That we will work at home or in the office or the hospital or wherever. No matter what season of life you are in, my frenetic pace of hardly being able to taking a breath or maybe retirement which is a very special time perhaps set aside specifically by God in which to nurture with a lifetime of wisdom or after a lifetime of nurturing be on the receiving end for a change… but, always, in the company, of the presence of your Lord Who has made it abundantly clear that He wants to hang out with you interiorly, exteriorly in so many ways!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Why self-examination is important!!!
No, this is not about breast cancer although that is an important type of self-examination as well. This is about the heart! My brother and I exchange indulgent obsessions. He writes about world economics (yawn) and I write about spirituality and religion (his yawn) but, out of love and respect we do read eachother's stuff. Lately he has depressed me to the point of despair in his reluctance to develop a prayer life. Although he is a convinced Catholic in his view point and a passionate pro-life activist he is rather infant like in his pursuit of God in the spiritual way. Not to say that he isn't pursuing God's will just not in the relationship aspect. I have been torturing him somewhat in my encouragement to maintain a conversation with God not in the "religious" way that is abhorrent to him, but in the way one speaks with their loving Father and listens to Him. In sending him quotes by many different teachers about prayer I sent him one by St. Augustine which states that our prayers are continual in that often they are that intense desire of our hearts heard by our Lord. Yes, of course, but that made me halt for a minute and think... what am I desiring? What intense and continual thoughts am I hurtling heavenward. Yea, not really all that pleased by that house cleaning job. But, again rejuvenated that intent to do a self-examination of heart not only before going to reconciliation (confession) but, daily, what are my motivations and what is occupying my thoughts... and why? Jus saying... might be good idea considering the truth of the euphemism "be careful what you ask for."
Thursday, January 27, 2011
In Awe...
I don't have time to get depressed or distraught... I am constantly in awe over God's generosity and immense love. He so takes care of my family and this is almost creeeepily obvious with my parents. They have never made much money, but it has never made any difference I mean geez... God has everything... He made everything... He has bestowed thousands upon thousands randomly on my parents like 5 times in the last two decades and I am just wondering how the heck God has time to help anyone else when He is so busy blessing us? Oh yeah, that infinteness thing...
Saturday, January 22, 2011
New Year's Resolutions
This is the first year in recent or even ancient memory that I have not made any New Year's Resolutions. That is any new ones... I have subconsciously decided that I would maintain my prior commitments to prayer, writing and focus on family. However, today the 22nd of Jan. I watched some videos of my two favorite health professionals. Dr. Oz and Dr. Mercola actually speaking to each other. They are both passionate about disease prevention and cure through healthy lifestyle and nutrition. These videos reminded me of my personal responsibility to care for my own "temple of the Holy Spirit." Sitting in gray January days I am sorely tempted to hibernate till sun doth warm the soil. But, am inspired by both of these guys' consistent call to health. So, I again decided to stay committed or recommit to yet another previous decision to eat healthy and exercise... even in the middle of the winter doldrums. Tommorrow morning should be interesting and stimulating... at least for my heart and lungs... sigh.
Important to check in frequently, with those who inspire you... whether they be saints or docs depending on the subject matter!
Important to check in frequently, with those who inspire you... whether they be saints or docs depending on the subject matter!
Friday, January 14, 2011
Temptation
My husband surprised me with a kindle for Christmas... like what was he thinking? I once saw a t-shirt with the moniker "Lead me not into temptation, especially bookstores!" I thought, Amen, that is my prayer. when we moved, it was with a little shame that 70 boxes of books made their way to the new house. Granted a lot of those were homeschooling books, but still, obsession with the written word, geez. I was trying to detach for awhile, from writing and inhaling written commmunication. So, is the kindle a neatly devised form of temptation? I do think so, but am comforted by the fact that most spiritual classics are practically free, most under $2. God has his quiet, snickering revenge, thinks I.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Chocolate ice cream
So, in confession recently, I was given the most erroneous... er wise advice by a priest who first laughed heartily at me. When one is sincere and sitting rather vulnerably in the hot seat as we view it, but more aptly sung about as the seat of mercy and the dispenser of God's grace erupts in a fit of laughter over your private sufferings it is morbidly humiliating. But, only for a few seconds if one is open to, perhaps another peek and view into their personal struggles.
He said and I quote "Well, if you were to get rather obsessed with chocolate ice cream for awhile and then got sick of it. Then simply stop eating it and over time the desire for it will come back..." This was not in response to any sensual or sexual reference btw. In fact, later after I recovered from his first fit of mirth he could see that I was a bit disconcerted and in his caring restrainingly held his cheeks still from guffawing over my question... "It was only by virtue of his much advanced age that I decided even to consider its value. Not that I don't trust younger priests to be the vessel of the Holy Spirit's wisdom, but this was a complex issue that I was much vexed over, his prescription was rather simple and basic for the level of my angst. However, I did exactly as he suggested and he was perfectly correct, of course. Chocolate ice cream, in form of the desire to serve my dear children in the manner of focused daily and unending education has returned and with such passion as I could not imagine it would. Thank you dear Lord for priests who have good wisdom and a sense of humor that aid in restoring my own.
He said and I quote "Well, if you were to get rather obsessed with chocolate ice cream for awhile and then got sick of it. Then simply stop eating it and over time the desire for it will come back..." This was not in response to any sensual or sexual reference btw. In fact, later after I recovered from his first fit of mirth he could see that I was a bit disconcerted and in his caring restrainingly held his cheeks still from guffawing over my question... "It was only by virtue of his much advanced age that I decided even to consider its value. Not that I don't trust younger priests to be the vessel of the Holy Spirit's wisdom, but this was a complex issue that I was much vexed over, his prescription was rather simple and basic for the level of my angst. However, I did exactly as he suggested and he was perfectly correct, of course. Chocolate ice cream, in form of the desire to serve my dear children in the manner of focused daily and unending education has returned and with such passion as I could not imagine it would. Thank you dear Lord for priests who have good wisdom and a sense of humor that aid in restoring my own.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)